Thanksgiving

Thanks-giving flows naturally from realizing and focusing on God and his amazing provision for us to life now and into eternity. So I particularly appreciate looking at connections acknowledged between God and United States history.

Like this Thanksgiving Proclamation by President George Washington, 1789.

By the President of the United States of America
A Proclamation

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; Continue reading

Thorns and Roses

The Thorn by James Hayllar

An old-fashioned-looking print hangs where I see it first thing every morning. A young girl, clad in pink dress with white apron, pink hat with bow tied under her chin, and black-stockings and little black slippers stands in a wheelbarrow. She grasps a pink rose in the hand hanging at her side. Her other is held out to the tender ministrations of a tall, white-haired man. He studies her hand, whole body intent on her, as he removes a thorn. 

I love this picture, a gift from my husband. The absolute tenderness with which the gentleman attends the child’s wound is touching. A clear representation of God’s tender care. 

Roses in the painting have thorns. That’s realistic; they do. They’re also a perfect picture of God at work in our world—wrapping tough, painful things like thorns in the fragrant beauty of lush roses. And though the rose gardens of this world are lovely, we live in a fallen world, and thorns abound. But they’re not a mistake. After all, do you think roses had thorns in The Garden of Eden? Or did the prickly things only appear after the fall? Continue reading

Landing in Abundance

Landing in the state of abundance is a state of mind. A choice. 

No, that does not mean I’m espousing “believe it, claim it. And you’ll be rich.” Scripture clearly lets us know that in this world, difficulties will come our way.

But consider some of our American ancestors who hunted for their food, then cleared and planted farms, built homes, wove fabric, sewed clothing. Yes, old-fashioned skills. But even as recent as the 20th century, grandparents and great-grandparents lived through World War I, experienced financial, social, and personal hardships. Then they endured the Depressions and WWII. They learned to be frugal, to value the important things in life. And many a good time was had in hand-me-down clothes around the radio with a bowl of popcorn.

Later those very same people who had been children through those lean years of self-sacrificing wanted a better life for their kids. One where they didn’t experience:

                          scarcity that required making one dress, one apron, one shirt, one set of knickers last;

                          mothers washing clothes at night and letting them dry as the kids slept in order to wear clean clothes to church on Sunday and begin school Monday;

                          years when empty flour sacks became towels or dresses;

                          the need to find a scrap of cardboard, fold it, and stuff it inside a shoe to cover a hole.

 That thrift and knowledge of how to use every scrap of anything to its utmost—those are valuable skills. Essential for survival during The Depression, the Dust Bowl, the War. Still valuable in the 21st century. Homes, businesses, and especially the government would be stronger and carry less debt if those skills were still common-place and valued.

What became of them?

Those children who were recipients of that “better life” of the second half of the 20th century reaped the benefits but did not learn the skills, values, and lessons of the lean years their parents and grandparents experienced.

And now in these United States, a land of untold plenty, so many are unsatisfied.  Unhappy. Grasping. How do we swing that pendulum back?

I suggest:  Gratitude

What do you need? Slow down, breathe deeply, and see what is around you. Then be grateful for even the most simple ways in which needs are met.

Do you need food? Be thankful for the bowl of cereal, or toast and cup of coffee. Often we are guilty of shoving sustenance into our mouth unthinkingly so we can get on with the “important” business of life. Gratitude is the business of life.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude helps set in order a whole mess of priorities. And don’t we need that in this chaotic world? In our time-crunched days? Noticing what we have in our lives, not what’s missing, will automatically reduce our yearning for the number of things we believe we must chase.

What better time than November? Seemingly every newspaper ad, every billboard, every commercial shouts, “Get ready. Order your turkey and pie now! Thanksgiving is around the corner.” If we fall into old habits and forget to count our blessings this month, all of media and culture are ready to remind us: It’s Thanksgiving time!

Strait of Hormuz, A Review

 

At review’s end read a short interview to discover the astonishing connections this story has to Bunn’s life.

Then find details of a phenomenal give-away which includes 2 luxury watches and a $150 Amazon gift card.

Tested Loyalty. Tested Courage. Tested Faith.

“The danger is real … and inbound.” Marc Royce, Strait of Hormuz

With an economy of words and profusion of images, Strait of Hormuz by Davis Bunn is a story seemingly ripped from today’s news. 

American Marc Royce has been sent on a clandestine intelligence operation that takes him to Switzerland, then across Europe into the Middle East, without backup or even a gun. He must penetrate the veil of secrecy around art thieves, smugglers, and terrorists to determine who he can trust as he uncovers which threats to himself and peace in the Mid-East are real and how they can be thwarted. Continue reading

Colluding With the Enemy

  I notice when I bring up the topic of domestic violence (DV), things go v-e-r-y quiet.

Yeah, I get that it’s an uncomfortable topic. We wouldn’t want to pry into people’s private business. Or insult a friend by revealing we suspect she’s being abused.

That’s sad—because DV is usually a family secret, and victims don’t talk about it either. When the abuse finally becomes evident, someone often asks the victim why she never asked for help, never left. “I would have helped. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” The answer in one form or another is: “You never asked.”

If victims won’t bring it up, and they’re never asked—How is help to arrive? Somebody has to be the first to speak the words. To ask a question. To offer an observation. To hold out hope. There are lives that need saving.

I guarantee, even if your friend doesn’t acknowledge the abuse to you when you discuss it, you will have planted a seed and alerted her to the fact she is not alone. Someone else cares. The abuse is not her fault. Life isn’t hopeless.

DV victims tend to be hyper-vigilant. They are watching. It’s a survival skill. So when one hears someone who seems to comprehend DV, she will know that when she’s ready, there is a safe person to talk with.

So please, as October ends, don’t collude with the abuser and his coerced veil of silence. Get prepared and plant a seed or two. Help families see fall as a time they can enjoy nature’s changing colors—and not hide the changing color of bruises.

I wonder why DV Awareness Month is October, but it seems apt. The colors of changing leaves—purple, green fading to yellow to brown—match the colors of bruising.

I promise you, I don’t beat the drum about DV every day. I won’t be posting on it every week. But come October, I feel an obligation to share information. As you read this, does a friend come to mind? Perhaps she’s the one who needs to know a friend understands.

And thanks for reading this.

Protecting the Children

Kids are impacted by spousal domestic violence (DV) in their home. Monumentally so. Yet most parents say they’ve hidden the violence from the children. Many often believe it. But studies and experience show the opposite. Children often hear abuse late at night. They sense the tension. Notice bruises. Even infants are deeply affected. And some abusers purposely assault and/or demean a woman in front of the children.

Many problematic behaviors in children (crying jags, clinginess, tantrums, sleep problems) are triggered by things beyond DV. But a few related to DV you might not think of are:

           Children believing they caused the abuse

           Thinking they cannot escape being violent, it’s in their blood

            Refusing to go to school/faking illness

            Drug/alcohol use/abuse

            Running away

            Suicide attempts

Children often put themselves in danger by stepping into the violence attempting to stop it. Youngsters in DV households are at much greater risk of being abused themselves. Even pet in these homes have a shortened life span.

My space here isn’t sufficient for all the explanations of how and why. And the impact of spousal abuse on a child will vary depending upon his developmental stage. But all kids try to make sense of their surroundings. If you think about it—how they do that is amazing. We adults would have great challenges and make myriad errors if we were dumped into a foreign land, knew nothing of their language and customs, and had to intuit everything. We’d make many wrong assumptions. And kids do. (See the DOVE page for an excellent story of just such a funny error one adult made.)

Sadly, often the parents are so embroiled in the DV cycle that they don’t see the impact on the children. Is this not good reason for all of us to:

be informed?               

learn to safely address our concerns with the adults?

identify resources for families impacted?

Support local shelters/service providers who assist victims & children?

Links to information and resources are in the Oct. 15 post “October Surprise.”  A few of the many helpful books (with links to see them at Amazon) are:         

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: What Every Pastor Needs to Know, Al Miles

     Contains helpful information on domestic violence: identifying, responding, safety. It’s a good read for anyone, not just clergy.

WINNING YOUR WIFE BACK BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE, Dr. Gary Smalley

     While this sounds like a “how-to” manual for men, it excels at showing what a healthy relationship should look like—a fact many in DV families no longer remember.

THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, Patricia Evans

     Many think DV is only about physical abuse. It isn’t. And victims often describe the verbal abuse as more deeply wounding. ALL types take their toll, but do not minimize verbal abuse.

 

October Surprise …

You might think you’ve no need to pay attention to October being  Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness Month—but I have a few surprises.  For instance, did you know that: 

Many women experience their first physical assault during pregnancy? 

That when trying to leave an abusive relationship, victims are at great risk of being murdered?

If you observe a man abusing a woman, even an act as minor as roughly grasping her hand or arm, she is at great risk of severe injury or death? (DV is typically kept secret. When it is perpetrated in public, the abuser has crossed an inhibiting line.) 

Marital/couples therapy is NOT recommended? (As long as abuse is occurring and coercive control being exercised, conjoint therapy is not effective because the victim cannot be honest. Marital therapy typically looks at sharing the responsibility for problems. DV is behavior the abuser chooses, not one of shared responsibility.) 

Pets in DV homes have a shortened life expectancy?

Your cell phone can easily be turned into a microphone that an abuser can listen in to any time your phone has a battery? Or be used as a tracking device? (You will not know if/when that is done. A forensic investigator said it can take him over 100 hours to detect.)

Doctors who ask women (in private) if they’re being abused are stunned to learn how many are? When they ask why the women never told them, they hear: “You never asked me.” 

Church-going women are no less likely to become DV victims, as much as church hierarchy would like to think their church is immune?

 

Victims and their children, to be best helped, need the services of a DV professional, typically their services are FREE through DV agencies. General counselors and therapists often have insufficient experience with DV to help the clients address safety issues. 

The need for specialized DV knowledge was clearly demonstrated when I spoke with a man whose sister was killed by her abuser.  As he described his sister’s vigilance in trying to protect herself, I could see holes in her preparation that left her vulnerable to her assassin’s bullet. If in all her efforts, she had encountered someone experienced in DV who showed her the danger indicators and worked safety plans with her, perhaps she’d be alive today.

An abuser who has lost all hope and therefore inhibition is a dangerous opponent. But people who don’t know the warning signs are like abandoned sheep before a wolf. 

What better time than DV Awareness Month to gather some information and be a resource for someone who needs it?

Please get informed. More information is available on the DOVE Project page here on my website. Also the links below lead to sources of information and services available.

UNITED STATES

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or  TTY 1-800-787-3224    

http://www.thehotline.org/

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

http://www.ncadv.org/

The Ripple Effect – A public health education, research & advocacy organization with fact sheets and slide shows.

http://www.the-ripple-effect.info/ 

CANADA

Assaulted Women’s Helpline – 154 languages

1.866.863.0511 or TTY  416.364.8762

http://www.awhl.org/

 

 

KUDOS

Score one for old-fashioned initiative!

I just heard Chris Cox speak. From south Carolina, he was between jobs in Washington DC when the government shutdown began.  He went to the Lincoln and other monuments after hearing how vulnerable they were without guards, and decided to do what he could to make sure they weren’t vandalized.  Laudable, right?  What happened next astonishes me even more.

Seeing garbage blowing around and trash baskets overflowing, he got to work picking up garbage. Emptying and transporting garbage out of there, Cutting grass. Clearing pathways. When a tree (or part of a tree) fell and blocked a handicapped pathway, he got a chain saw, cut it, and removed it.

I’ve written a book, The Power of One, yet to be published, full of stories of individuals who have made a transformative difference by the actions they took. Chris Cox deserves to be included! I hope I get to interview and include him. But when asked by the TV host to share his website and contact information if people wanted to check out his work (He is an artist), he declined. He said he’d like to keep the focus on the “Memorial Militia” and having folks concentrate on keeping America’s treasures—and our image in the world—shining.

You can read more here or find links to a more on the story at my FB page.

Your thoughts on this self-starter who values our American memorials?

Words for Fun & Profit

I like words, always have. Playing with letters, shuffling words like cards, then stringing them together–like a daisy chain, or pearls on a fine cord. Sometimes, like recalcitrant children, words refuse to line up in orderly rows. Instead they tumble over each other, run about in circles, play hide-and-seek.

Other times I’m more like a quarryman. Finding the right words may mean chiseling away tons of useless debris. And occasionally the surprise days where, like a miner, I dig up a chunk of rock and crack it open. Inside glitters the gem I’ve searched for.                    

There are also days when the words pierce like a flint arrowhead, clunk like logs hitting the ground, or roll away like ping-pong balls bouncing downhill. But even those days, I’m glad I work with words. They are powerful little tools.

I also value words. We were not created mind readers, and while deciphering body language is somewhat helpful, using words to communicate is more reliable—if people don’t treat words like clay and stretch and distort their meanings purposefully to obfuscate, confuse, manipulate. Helpful perhaps if one’s goal is to garner power and control others; decidedly unhelpful for communicating and problem solving.

            The conglomerations of sounds and odd slashes of ink on a page can create immense consequences. We can ~

create or crush,

mend or rend,

encourage or grieve,

uplift or hammer,

fasten or free.

And now, just for your fun, some examples of “headlines”garnered from the internet. Oh, my. Some of the folks below have really big problems here …

1. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

4. Eye Drops off Shelf

5. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
6. Farmer Bill Dies in House

7. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
8. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
9. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Do you have any favorites odd “headlines” to share? I’m partial to the book (that is not about pandas) Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.

Loving LOVE’S AWAKENING

Welcome to Under the Lamppost, where we meet to chat about words, stories, and anything else that catches our fancy.

Today we have a treat from Laura Frantz that immediately follows my review of Love’s Awakening, second in The Ballantyne Legacy series. See what surprising inspiration prompted her to write these stories.

Clash of the titans aptly describes the atmosphere as you open Love’s Awakening. Oh, love is in the title and in the novel ~~ but the story is much more than just a love story. It’s drama, adventure, intrigue, mystery, and history-come-alive when Ellie of the powerful, wealthy, and abolition-leaning Ballantyne clan encounters children of the slave-holding, whiskey magnate, Henry Turlock.          

  It is spring, 1822, and Ellie Ballantyne leaves finishing school and the Matrimonial Society of Philadelphia where she feels more like a confection on a buffet table than a respected young lady. Returning to the family home in Pittsburgh, she finds her parents are away, her siblings aloof, and secrets are making her path forward decidedly uncertain.

Ellie begins a day school for young ladies. When Chloe Turlock, ward of handsome Jack Turlock, black-sheep son of Henry, requests Ellie’s tutelage, old family rivalries explode. Decisions must be made, alliances rearranged, risks taken—all with no guarantees of life, liberty, or love.

The premise is  packed with opportunities for conflict, and Laura Frantz masterfully spins them into a rich tale populated with vivid characters who pull us headlong into their journey. As in life, the characters have conflicting motivations, make tough choices, and are often unprepared for the consequences. I was drawn into their world, often holding my breath, sometimes laughing, other times aching as one or another sought a truth to hang on to.

Frantz, a long-time lover of history, fashions her settings with great and accurate detail. I love when a book transports me, and this one did. So much so that I found it clinging to me after I closed the book. Sights, sounds, smells, the expression on a face, the power of a bit of dialog.

Secrets, lies, and mistrust create a dark backdrop against which Frantz’s characters shimmer. And as if a good story well-told wasn’t enough, Frantz drops gem-like epigrams throughout which intrigue you or tickle your funny bone.

A superb example of synergy, Love’s Awakening is much more than the sum of well-done craft elements. It’s a book that, at the end of a long day wrangling an obstinate computer or a car that’s lost its steering, I have thoroughly enjoyed escaping into. A sensory jewel, I would love to see it made into a movie. And Frantz joins a select list of masterful story weavers who can be relied upon to provide a book our family wants to read and read again.

Now, a few words directly from Laura:

UTL: Where do you begin your stories? Characters, plot, theme…? 

LF:   It’s plot line first. The entire Ballantyne series began by me stumbling across a tiny research thread that said apprentice blacksmiths often married the master blacksmith’s daughter by custom which started off a whole string of other ideas which I wove into that first story.

UTL: Fascinating where ideas can spring from. Knowing the huge amount of research you’ve done, I’ll look forward to hundreds of resulting stories! 

Can you tell us a bit about how you do your research, and how you combine it with writing time? 

LFI am always, always researching and have a stack of books I go though, underline, copy into notebooks and on index cards of whatever the subject is at the time. I like to be well-armed research-wise before I begin but often I’ll be writing and a hole will appear and so off I’ll go onto a research tangent. Research is nearly as fun as writing for me – like candy, really – so it never feels like work. Remembering all that I learn is the challenge! I’ve learned you really need to double check your sources because the internet is often not accurate. Books are usually better for me that way though there are some wonderful resources on the web.

Thanks, Laura, for the glimpse into your writer’s studio. Learn more about Laura, her other novels, and fascinating bits of history, visit her website here. 

Okay, readers, have you ever been surprised by some obscure historical detail you learned?   And what book/s would you like to see made into a movie?  Please tell us and share the fun.